Find Me Now Love - Sex, Women and Men

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Sex, Women and Men
During my many years of counseling couples, I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that frequently occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy.
There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints – men and women are very different when it comes to sex!
The biological sexual drive, or lack of it, relates to how much testosterone is present. Men biologically have much more testosterone than women. Men’s biology equips them to be alert for sex most of the time, which is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species. Women, on the other hand, often do not experience a biological sexual drive unless they are in the center of their menstrual cycle. This fact can create a large problem in relationships.
I’ve often heard men complain that:
“I think if my wife really cared about me and my needs, she would have sex with me even when she wasn’t turned on.”
“I don’t reach out for sex much anymore because I’m tired of being rejected, but my wife says she wants to be pursued in a romantic way. This feels like a no-win to me.”
“My wife is in control of our sex life . If she wants it, then we have it. If she doesn’t, then I have no say about it.”
I’ve often heard women complain that:
“My husband often comes to me like a needy small teenager , needing me to appease him or validate him with sex. There is nothing erotic about an insecure, needy little teenager !”
“I often feel pulled on for sex, as if having sex is more necessary than caring about me. When I do what he wants, I feel used, and when I don’t, I run into hers anger, resentment, blame or withdrawal. It feels like a no-win.”
“He always seems to be alert for sex, but I don’t feel turned on unless we're feeling close . I can’t just watch TV all evening and then feel like making love.”
The very real issue here, at minimum for most men beneath 40, is that they're biologically motivated and women are mostly emotionally motivated. Heterosexual women get turned on when their man is warm, open, caring, and personally powerful. Most women are not turned on by a man who is closed, distant, angry, blaming, or needy.
The problems of frequency can get resolved as men and women learn to understand and accept each other’s differences. Men need to understand and accept that women are not as biologically motivated as men are. Many women rarely even think about sex, while most men will tell you that they think about sex frequently throughout the day. When men understand that women are turned on by love, romance, emotional intimacy, warmth, caring, and personal power, then men may be motivated to learn to be the fond , powerful and romantic partners that women want and need.
When women can accept that men’s biology is very present for them, they can stop putting men down for it and start supporting their men in creating more emotional intimacy, romance, and personal power. When women criticize men instead of understanding and accepting them, they help to create some of the insecurity that is such a turn off to many women. When a man can appreciate rather than demean him woman for hers sexuality, she can discover ways of meeting his needs lacking feeling used.
Understanding and accepting each other’s differences and needs can lead both men and women toward more satisfying sex lives.
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Find Me Now Love - Relationship Dating

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Relationship Dating
Our existence revolves around relationships. We have family relationships, work relationships and romantic relationships. Is your relationship going the way you need it? Before getting involved in a romantic relationship, it is good to ask yourself such questions. Would you like to get into an erotic and short-term relationship only to discover later that the other person is looking for a long-term commitment? Do you feel like dating a person when there is no personal chemistry involved ?
The foundation of a successful relationship depends on the quality time you spend together. What you feel when you are together, how you behave in each other’s presence are important observations to make. Remember, emotions aren't rational; there is no logic to why you like someone and don’t like another. You must watch your own reactions and the responses of the other person sensitively.
There are situations where advice fails to work. Every situation is unique in itself. Lack of communication in a relationship spells doom. The phrase ‘silence speaks’ might work in some cases but not always.
Following three C's are the basis of a successful relationship dating, whether it is brief or long term, erotic or wild:
Communication
Do you feel shy in discussing sensitive issues? Are you the kind of person who waits for the other person to break the ice? This isn't the accurate approach. Conveying things at an earlier stage prevents chaos afterwhile . However a blatant approach might also end up in a disaster. Relationship dating is a sensitive issue. You should handle it with care. Communicate properly and carefully before fixing a date.
Commitment
Be very clear about the commitment level you expect from each other. If you're looking for an erotic relationship, convey it through various indirect gestures at the very outset . You are more compatible if you share similar beliefs and values in your lives. The more likeminded you are, the more deep-rooted your relationship is likely to be.
Cooperation
You must have a great deal of mutual understanding. A successful relationship involves a lot of give-and-take. It isn't one-way traffic; it is reciprocal. Reciprocity increases your compatibility level with each other. Last but not the minimum , sex plays a very vital role in a successful relationship. Sex is a way of expressing your total love. However, before giving expression to your love be very honest with each other. Be very sure about how long you want to haul on!
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Find Me Now Love - Are You Moving Too Fast In Your Relationship?

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Are You Moving Too Fast In Your Relationship?
When I was 16 years old, I was in deep like with a guy I was dating. He was purely the anti-boyfriend of my parents' choosing. He drove a black car with a souped up engine. He smoked cigarettes. He had horrible manners. He would beep the horn for me when he came to pick me up. It drove my mother crazy. I mean actually looking back - he had no respect. But that's not why I'll remember him .
What I'll recollect is that I went to an amusement park one weekend and bought a keychain that had both our names with a heart in between them. I thought it was cute and I thought he'd get a small chuckle out of it. Uh - not! He read me the riot act about how I pressure guys and that I was simply too pushy and that he didn't think this entire thing was going to work out. All this on my own front doorstep. Needless to say, I was devastated.I hadn't known this about myself whether it was his truth or the truth. I carried it with me up until the point I realized that I was in a fully reciprocal relationship .
What's the moral of this story ?
Well, it was kind of pushy for me to purchase a keychain with our names when he wasn't my personal boyfriend and he didn't buy it with me or for me. I was forcing the issue. So take this teenage lesson and apply it to your lives presently - never compel the issue. It only makes you look desperate or clueless.
Tips That You're Moving Too Fast
1. You are thinking about what your children will see like
2. You aren't interested in meeting anyone else and have been dating for a month
3. You quiz him about his incoming calls--everyday!
4. You call him before you give him a chance to return the FIRST call
5. You are leaving things in his residence "by accident" like a toothbrush, underwear, etc.
6. You need to meet his mom and request her stuff about his childhood
7. You WANT to quiz him about his incoming phone calls
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Find Me Now Love - Questions Before Find Life Partner

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Questions Before Find Life Partner
"How do you know when you've met the right one?”
Almost everyone asks this question at some point in their lives; unfortunately, there are not too many who get a concrete answer . But if you're reading this article, then you're one of them .
Interestingly, the criteria for choosing a spouse can be boiled down to just four characteristics. If you can discover somebody with all four then it's highly likely that you've found your existence partner.
1) What is This Person's Core Values? Before you decide to marry someone, make sure that they are fully committed to some kind of objective moral and ethical standard. Whether we realize it or not, everyone has some kind of core value that is central to their personality. And when push comes to shove, that worth is going to be the most important thing in the world to that person.
For example: Tom's core value is adventure. When Tom starts to date Sue, he happens to be volunteering at the local Emergency Room. She goes there every night , holds people's hands, calms them down. And Sue's thinking to herself that Tom must have a heart of gold if this is how he's spending his spare time. Now, Tom might actually have a heart of gold. But he's volunteering because of his love for adventure. The ER is filled with action, it's exciting.
So right now , Tom's adventurousness happens to be expressing itself in a kind way. But that might alter . Tom might halt volunteering, and start trying other adventures that Sue may discover unpleasant, dangerous , or even unethical. However, if Tom's core value is a commitment to goodness and caring, then everything she does will rotate around that, including his marriage. And Sue will be a very lucky man if she marries him . So how do you get to know the true Tom? Surprisingly, it's not that difficult.
No matter what a person's core worth is, you'll see him or him sacrificing for it on a daily basis. If Tom's core worth is adventure, then he might risk an accident in order to speed through an intersection or arrive late at work because she followed a police chase. If Sue follows him carefully, she'll see that he places adventure above other necessary things on hers list of priorities. But if Tom's core value is goodness, then Sue will see him give up on certain things in order to be kind.
If the waiter mixes up hers order, he'll say thank you and consume the dish anyway. He'll let the other guy cross the intersection first , or he might be late to work because she drove a small old lady residence with her groceries. If Sue follows him carefully, then she'll see him let go of some of his own desires in order to take care of other folks . So see for someone who is committed at the core to a higher set of values that you can appreciate.
2) Does This Person Treat Others Well? Number two is obvious: You need to marry someone who's going to take care of you and treat you well. How to figure it out? Simple. Spend time with this person, and pay attention to how they treat others whom they don't necessarily care about because they're not trying to charm them.
Do they thank the attendant who pumped gas for them? Are they courteous to people at checkout counters? Do they curse out people who don't deliver on time, like telephone operators or overworked waitresses? Do they tend to drive aggressively, as if there's no one else on the road? Ask yourself questions like these and take note of the answers - because they reflect characteristics that will come out down the line. Most folks don't guard themselves so carefully that they'll conceal how they treat others. So look them, and you'll know how they're going to treat you after you're married.
3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other? In other words, make sure that you comprehend each other. This might seem obvious, but it's not. Sometimes you can see a couple in a battle and they argue for an hour, two hours, maybe even overnight. And then, at the end of circular 16, it turns out that the entire thing was just a misunderstanding: “Oh, I thought you meant that…That's not what you meant? Oh, then we agree .” Although on an occasional basis this can happen to anyone, if it's happening constantly then it's not a good sign because that might not change . If you're constantly misunderstanding each other, then you might want to put this relationship on hold for a while.
4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other? Physical attraction is an essential piece of marriage. You cannot marry someone if you aren't physically attracted to them. And while men arrive at this conclusion somewhat quickly, women should donate themselves some more time. Very often , a woman might not feel attracted to a man initially, but after he gets to know him she finds him much more attractive than before. A word of caution: Although physical attraction is essential, you can't base a marriage on physicality.
Whatever is going on physically is meant to be an expression of something deep that is happening on the emotional and spiritual level. The govern is - make sure that physical attraction is there, but don't get swept away by it. The other three characteristics are just as necessary , if not more so. So there you have it. The next time you date someone, put what you've learned here into practice. It'll save you a lot of time and heartache, and you might find yourself walking down the aisle faster than you think.
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