Showing posts with label sex life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex life. Show all posts

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Is your Sex Life Boring Or Not?

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Is your Sex Life Boring Or Not?
I get to talk to many men and women about sex. The funny thing is that most people think others are having a much greater sex existence than they are. Generally they say that their own sex is attractive boring and non exciting. The longer the couple has been together the more boring sex seems to have become. Of course there are couples that have great sex and have been together for ages. These couples are scarce in my personal experience. A recent study discovered that in 2 years of marriage, the women's interest in sex had dropped off about 50%.
There was also a lot less intercourse per week. So what can one do to spice up ones sex existence ? I like to think of sex in 3 flavours. The initial one is partner connection. Women generally love this style of lovemaking. In this flavour the emotional connection with your lover is most important . Generally, couples when they first fall in love have a lot of partner connection in sex. There is a lot of eye gazing, touch and emotions flowing and sex is actually just great. It seems to flow and there is much hugging, touch and foreplay. So how does one get more of this connections with your partner.
One tip in sex to get more of this flavour is to open your eyes during sex. I discover most couple don't even take a look at their lover. The eyes connect and the emotions can flow thought he eyes. for the more advanced, I suggest to open your eyes during orgasm. Most men discover this a challenge but it can be done! The second flavour of lovemaking is what I like to call trance. In this style one goes into oneself and is totally in ones own fantasy , sensations or a trance like state. Eyes are closed as the connection with your partner is not necessary . Most men seem to like trance.
I did have a lover that loved going into trance. However, I just felt I was a travel agent taking him to amazing places. Since I could not come along I felt unsatisfied. The touch was one way and I found this frustrating. I did communicate this and she did start to touch me more. The third flavour is role playing. This can be a great deal of fun. One can act out ones fantasies or take on roles of the sexual healer or priest. How about becoming animals?.
Bondage games drop into this type of play. Generally this is more challenging for most folks . However playing roles really can spice up your sex existence . With my own clients I suggest they begin to explore the flavours that they're weak on. Most couples don't play roles as it is a bit scary. I suggest to pass through is fear and really start to explore. If you have boring sex, you're actually committed to this on some level. Challenge your lover to do one thing different and you might have to compromise too. Suggest your lover takes the lead in trying something new too. Above all, have fun.
findmenowlove.com

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Find Me Now Love - Reignite Sex Life

Find Me Now Love
Reignite Sex Life
The tempo of modern living can seem to play havoc with our sexual relationships. There are always reasons to put everything else before our sexual gratification. However, the choice is yours. Do you remember the passion and sexual excitement that got you into the relationship in the first place?
That is what existence and living is actually all about. Temporary diminishment of sexual desire can happen in any relationship. Illness, relocation, job loss or financial setbacks, can adversely affect our desire from time to time. External circumstances can and do affect the fire. Now a temporary break may actually be a good thing, as this can lead to renewed discovery of one another. The problem arises when the situation is prolonged. Now the lack of sexual desire or activity can actually cause distress in the relationship and lead to unhappiness in both partners and breakdowns. This needs to be addressed to avoid causing irreparable damage destroying the relationship. Here are some simple ways to get your mojo working again.
Stop fighting! Resolve any issues that may be stopping you from actually communicating and being a fond couple. Clear out the trash so to speak. Are there unresolved issues that you and your partner are avoiding? Confront these and clear them out. Lingering thoughts will lead to unhappiness and avoidance of intimacy on all levels. How do you think you will connect at a physical level, if you aren't even communicating? Clear the slate so to speak. Make intimate contact a necessity. You need to prioritize being near , just as an item on your to do note . choose up the laundry, be intimate, etc. We tend too put mundane activities ahead of our needs all too frequently . You need to live, not just exist. To live, you need to do certain enjoyable things. Sex is amongst thaoose, so prioritise it together with other fulfilling activities. Don't just assume it will happen, make it happen. This need not be inflexible, but let it happen more often than not. When you thrust sex aside your relationship will become like any other ordinary existence. Watch out for this, don't let it happen. The more you have sex, the more you will need it. Let the snowball effect carry you in the right direction.
Are you OK? Make sure that there aren't any physical reasons not to have sex. Male impotence, or erectile dysfunction, is very prevalent amongst highly stressed breadwinners. Attack the cause, reduce the stress, and if need be, use some of the available medication and seek medical assistance. This aspect of your health is as necessary as any other for the quality of your life . Women might have discomfort during intercourse for a variety of reasons. Again, seek assistance, resolve the physical issues. Make sure that there are no physical problems. Sometimes hormonal imbalances occurr, resulting in reduced drive, identify and remedy these. Modern medicine is very aware and capable of helping in these situations, there is no need for embarrassment, the issues are to widespread, for you too think that you are the only one with this type of problem. Sort it out.
Are you fulfilled? A common situation causing disinterest, or even anger or resentment, is an unfulfilling sexual relationship. If both partners needs are not being met, one will always feel like a victim. This cannot enable a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. If our needs are not being met, talk to your partner. Work on the situation together. An understanding of the situation is the first step to resolving the issue. In many cases, just letting your partner know what you like is sufficient to make all the difference. In very few situations is it imposible to find a mutually acceptable compromise to satisfy both partners
And the romance? Romance is what led to sex in the first place. Setting the right mood, creating romantic surroundings, can make all the difference. Create a little love nest. This can be a very intimate place, or an intimate time. Run a bath for your partner, put up some candles, add some scented bathoil, and voila you don't know what'll happen. On a more practical note, pack the kids off to grandma for the night , order in some exotic take-away, put a candle on the table, and refuse to let him do any housework. Watch the sparks fly. There are a myriad of ways to alter the mundane , and create situations tha timmediatrely up the chances of a romantic enjoyable encounter. You just need to do it. Up for a dirty weekend? A alter is as good as a holiday they say. In the romance stakes, a alter of scenery can work wonders. It doesn't have to be an exotic island location (although that would be nice). Get out of the rut. Get out and see something different, and it will bring about different thoughts and attitudes to your sexual perception as well. Get wild. Sex in an elevator, with the risk of being caught at any time, might turn on some partners to the extentt.
findmenowlove.com

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Find Me Now Love - Sex, Women and Men

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Sex, Women and Men
During my many years of counseling couples, I have frequently worked with the sexual problems that frequently occur in committed relationships. The most common complaint from men regarding sex is frequency, and the most common complaint from woman is lack of emotional intimacy.
There is a very good reason why these are the most common complaints – men and women are very different when it comes to sex!
The biological sexual drive, or lack of it, relates to how much testosterone is present. Men biologically have much more testosterone than women. Men’s biology equips them to be alert for sex most of the time, which is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of the species. Women, on the other hand, often do not experience a biological sexual drive unless they are in the center of their menstrual cycle. This fact can create a large problem in relationships.
I’ve often heard men complain that:
“I think if my wife really cared about me and my needs, she would have sex with me even when she wasn’t turned on.”
“I don’t reach out for sex much anymore because I’m tired of being rejected, but my wife says she wants to be pursued in a romantic way. This feels like a no-win to me.”
“My wife is in control of our sex life . If she wants it, then we have it. If she doesn’t, then I have no say about it.”
I’ve often heard women complain that:
“My husband often comes to me like a needy small teenager , needing me to appease him or validate him with sex. There is nothing erotic about an insecure, needy little teenager !”
“I often feel pulled on for sex, as if having sex is more necessary than caring about me. When I do what he wants, I feel used, and when I don’t, I run into hers anger, resentment, blame or withdrawal. It feels like a no-win.”
“He always seems to be alert for sex, but I don’t feel turned on unless we're feeling close . I can’t just watch TV all evening and then feel like making love.”
The very real issue here, at minimum for most men beneath 40, is that they're biologically motivated and women are mostly emotionally motivated. Heterosexual women get turned on when their man is warm, open, caring, and personally powerful. Most women are not turned on by a man who is closed, distant, angry, blaming, or needy.
The problems of frequency can get resolved as men and women learn to understand and accept each other’s differences. Men need to understand and accept that women are not as biologically motivated as men are. Many women rarely even think about sex, while most men will tell you that they think about sex frequently throughout the day. When men understand that women are turned on by love, romance, emotional intimacy, warmth, caring, and personal power, then men may be motivated to learn to be the fond , powerful and romantic partners that women want and need.
When women can accept that men’s biology is very present for them, they can stop putting men down for it and start supporting their men in creating more emotional intimacy, romance, and personal power. When women criticize men instead of understanding and accepting them, they help to create some of the insecurity that is such a turn off to many women. When a man can appreciate rather than demean him woman for hers sexuality, she can discover ways of meeting his needs lacking feeling used.
Understanding and accepting each other’s differences and needs can lead both men and women toward more satisfying sex lives.
findmenowlove.com

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Find Me Now Love - Couples and Sex Toys, The Coming Together

Find Me Now Love Blog
Many folks have owned, seen, or thought of owning sex toys, but many couples don't explore sex toys together. Perhaps it is because many folks view sex toys as dirty or one thing that does not need to be done within a marriage or serious relationship.
Or perhaps it is simply because we have a tendency to be embarrassed about such matters. If more couples would come together and realize that sex toys and a playful attitude towards sex and their time together in the bedroom then a great deal of folks would be happier with their sex lives. Sex toys can allow couples to experiment with one another and their own sexuality in unused and exciting ways.
Sex toys don't have to be looked at in a negative light like many folks look at them. They aren't dirty or even anything to be embarrassed about. Of course, the vast majority of people wouldn't donate rave reviews over a unused sex toy of some sort over dinner with their family, but these toys aren't anything that shouldn't be enjoyed.
In fact, they are produced to be enjoyed by consenting adults that have nothing to be embarrassed about! And, when couples can enjoy such things they can learn how to interact sexually in new and exciting ways. It's a great idea for couples to talk about sex and sex toys as soon as they begin a sexual relationship. The longer you wait to talk about such matters, the more awkward it will become.
Even if you've never owned any sex toys in the past, you should be able to express your desire to go shopping for some toys that will accentuate your already steamy sex life . Going shopping for the first time can be a little awkward, but that's why the couple should decide to share all of their feelings while shopping! They ought to be able to express what they like, what they find fascinating , and what they think is absolutely disgusting. Just the sex toy shopping experience can bring a couple closer together because they'll learn new things about one another.
There are a lot places to buy sex toys, but buying them online is a great idea if one or both folks are feeling a bit nervous about it. Buying online will permit you to see full color, vivid pictures of all of the sex toys you might ever imagine lacking actually stepping foot in an adult store! When you order sex toys online everyone can get what they need and it will arrive at your front door within a matter of days so that the play can begin !
Some toys you'll find that you really enjoy as a couple while others you can simply play or not play with. Couples may find that they only pull out their sex toys once a month, but it's the knowledge that there are always new and fun ways to please one another that makes sex toys so much fun. Whether you plan to play with them all of the time or every one time and again, sex toys can be a very good thing for couples that have just begun and those that have been together for quite some time.
findmenowlove