Thursday, November 1, 2012

Find Me Now Love - Relationships Conflict Resolution

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Relationships: Conflict Resolution
In the final few decades, partners have spent countless hours trying to “work out problems.” Yet over and over again they frequently come up against a major roadblock: they just don’t see things the same way. No matter how long they talk and how hard they attempt , neither ends up feeling really heard and understood. While there are some couples that just naturally see things the same way, most folks have a really hard time seeing things through the other person’s eyes.
What often happens when they “communicate” is that each person tries to get the other person to see things his or him way. Instead of solving the problem, each is trying to have control over how the other person sees things. This frequently leads to more conflict and frustration. While I'm not suggesting that couples stop communicating over problems and issues, I'm offering an additional way of resolving conflict: taking fond action in your own behalf. This form of conflict resolution is about action rather than converse . Following are some of the actions you can take that may make a universe of difference in your relationship.
LOVING ACTIONS
1. Choose to be compassionate toward yourself and your partner rather than choosing to judge yourself or your partner. Judging yourself and your partner will always lead to more conflict. Choosing to compassionately care about yourself and your partner can totally change the energy in-between you, even lacking words. If you believe that you or your partner are bad or wrong for your feelings, behavior, or point of view, then you won't be able to let go of judgment. You will move toward compassion when you understand and accept that each of you has very good reasons for your feelings, behavior, and point of view. Try compassionately accepting yourself and your partner and see what happens!
2. Choose to practice self-discipline in terms of saying nothing rather than behaving in an inflammatory way toward your partner. Practice zipping up your mouth! Practice letting go of having to be right! Practice walking elsewhere from a conflicted or heated situation, rather than jumping into the fray in the hopes of winning. If you see back, you will see that no one wins when both folks are trying to control with anger, blame, explanations, debating, defending, lectures, or compliance. However, if you choose to walk away , walk away with love and compassion – intent on taking fond care of yourself rather than punishing your partner. Walking away in anger is just another way to control.
3. Choose to accept that you've no control over your partner’s feelings and behavior, but that you've total control over your own actions. It is much easier to let go of trying to control  your partner when you move into acceptance regarding who your partner is. Trying to alter your partner is a total waste of energy. Changing yourself moves you into personal power.
4. Choose to take fond care of yourself in the face of the other person’s choices. You will find yourself wanting to talk about problems when you see yourself as a victim of your partner’s choices. However, when you accept your partner for who she or he is and accept your lack of control over your partner, you can then see your way clear toward taking loving action in your own behalf. Asking the question, “What is the loving action toward myself right at this time ?” will lead to ideas of how to take fond care of your self. Asking, “If I were an enlightened being, how would I be acting right presently ?” will open the door to creative ways of taking loving care of yourself.
Loving actions are actions that support your own highest good without harming your partner. For example , if you are tired of frequently being frustrated and rushed because your partner is generally late leaving for an event, you might decide to take your own truck each time your partner isn't ready on time. While your partner might not like your choice, your action is not harmful to him or her . It is an action that stops the power struggle and takes care of your self. Letting go of trying to change your partner and taking fond action for your self are the keys to conflict resolution lacking words.
findmenowlove.com

Find Me Now Love - Relationship Mistakes

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Relationship Mistakes
In your search for a great relationship, you shouldn’t just abandon things to luck. There are many things that you can do that can enhance your dating experience. Unfortunately, though, there are too an awful lot of things that you can do to make sure that you’re a dating flop. The following are the most common mistakes made by daters. Take the time to read and learn them so that you won’t make these mistakes too.
• Availability,  when you’re dating, it’s important to make yourself available when you discover someone you like. After all, you’ve gone to an awful lot of effort to find a person who might qualify for a relationship. That person won’t stick around forever if you don’t put in some effort.
• Realistic Fun – relationships are frequently a lot of fun when they first get started. Everything is so fresh, exciting, and new . However, it doesn’t take long to discover that fun can only go so distant . Make sure that you have other things in common, such as goals and values, if you need one thing long-term. Other than fun, you need to keep your eyes open for companionship, respect, love, and commitment. With those characteristics, you’re bound to have fun and a great relationship.
• Perfectionism,  we all have our own fantasies about the right person. After building up this fictional Mr. or Ms. Right for so long, it can be hard to let a real person in. After all, real people are flawed. There is nothing wrong with having a dream. Just don’t let your dream block out a perfectly good person for a great relationship. Remember that it is our quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us special. Instead of rejecting them, treasure them when they come in a great person.
• The False Front,  though it is important to look good when you’re dating, remember that you should always be realistic. If you do meet someone you like, you'll be seeing that person a lot. In that case, you won’t be spending several hours getting ready every time. There is a difference between looking nice, and setting your date up for disillusionment. When you get alert , recollect to be yourself. Look your best, see good, but make sure that it’s you in there! No untrue fronts.
• Needs,  though love is very important in a relationship, there's a lot more to it than just one emotion. The Beatles song “All You Need is Love” is sweet, but isn’t the key to a long-term relationship. You (and your partner) have many needs, and they all need to be met for things to work. Love is only one of those needs. You too need to remember responsibility, appreciation, trust , intimacy, and many other important factors.
• Immediacy,  a relationship isn’t something that happens instantly. Though you might need a relationship immediately, unless you donate it time to increase , you’ll only be disappointed. Give yourself the opportunity to meet people , get to know people , like folks , and find the right person. By rushing into a relationship, you’re setting up for a drop .
• Time – one of the hardest things to admit to yourself is that a person you’ve been seeing for a long time isn’t the person for you. You might have known it from the start of the relationship, but didn’t want to hurt any feelings. The thing is, the longer you wait, the harder it will be. While you’re dating, you’re testing out different people to find the right one for you. If you discover that you’re with the wrong person, the best thing you can do is stop . It’s only fair to yourself and to your partner. By avoiding these most common mistakes, you’ll be much more certain to have a happy relationship. It will meet your needs and those of your partner. It will also final much longer, and through many more obstacles. Happy dating.

findmenowlove.com

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Find Me Now Love - Dating Tips

Find MeNow Love
Dating Tips
Millions of men and women have signed up at online dating sites. The research indicates that there are few dates and even fewer marriages that take place as a result of meeting people online. Some of the responsibility for the poor results lies with the customers themselves. Too many men and women fill out their profiles and then sit back and wait. They expect the computers to match them with their perfect mates. And they really don’t want to actually work at finding their life partners.
Are you living in a fairy tale? Some of the reluctance to take charge of your love life is the result of what I call the Fairy Tale Trap. This dating trap is an entrenched portion of our culture. The Fairy Tale portion of the trap says that we don’t have to take responsibility for finding our soul mates. Indeed, our soul mate will just appear because…it’s fate. Someday, our prince will come, if we just wait long enough . Well, it doesn’t work that way. The perfect employer doesn’t call you with a job. The perfect truck doesn’t drive itself into your garage. And, your perfect partner won’t magically appear someday to take you elsewhere from all of this. You have to get out there and see . Online dating services can assist you look . They help you screen more prospects more quickly. But they won’t find a mate for you. You have to still put in the effort. If you want the best results from your online search, try these proven tips:
Secrets to online dating success
1. Write a paragraph or two about yourself that no one else could write. Be unique. Most women fall within a fairly narrow range for altitude , weight, hair color, eye color. They are all "nice", "attractive", fun, good sense of humor. Tell the world something it doesn't know and can't get from a standard fill-in-the-blank profile.
2. Post several photos - with your dress on. You catch fish according to the type of bait you use. What do you think you're attracting with racy photos of your T&A? If you want someone to love you for yourself, post photos of yourself, not your body parts.
3. Know yourself; be yourself. No phoniness. Be honest and demand honesty from dates.
4. Contact lots of people and answer lots of contacts. It's a numbers recreation . Besides, if you corresponded with only one woman how would you know he’s the best one for you? You never had a choice, did you?
5. Online dating safety tips
No personal email addresses. Get a unused free one from hotmail, yahoo, or gmail.
Do not donate out your personal phone or cell phone numbers.
6. Don't think an online dating location will have your perfect date today, this month, even this year. People come and go a lot at these dating sites. Expecting to meet someone good on the first search is like expecting to meet your mate the initial time you visit the grocery, the video store, or the coffee shop. The most useful tip is: be patient. You might spend months before someone compatible logs in and sees your profile.
7. Most of your contacts and replies won't result in a match or a date, let alone a relationship. So what? Do you always look the TV channel that comes up when you turn on the TV? You browse the channels, so browse your prospects. The more you do this, the better you will get at it. When you finally meet Mr. Wonderful you'll be very good at screening and evaluating possible dates.
8. Don't expect only one online dating location to have your perfect mate. Mr. Wonderful may have connected another dating site instead. If you're serious about finding a life partner, merge the top 3-4 dating sites and visit them at least weekly to see if Mr. W has signed up yet.
9. And the most important of all online dating tips: Don't expect ANY dating location to discover you a man . Dating sites can be helpful, but they're just one location for meeting possible dates and mates. If you were looking for that perfect outfit you wouldn't keep shopping in just one store. Use all the resources available to you to find your perfect partner.
findmenowlove.com

Find Me Now Love - Reignite Sex Life

Find Me Now Love
Reignite Sex Life
The tempo of modern living can seem to play havoc with our sexual relationships. There are always reasons to put everything else before our sexual gratification. However, the choice is yours. Do you remember the passion and sexual excitement that got you into the relationship in the first place?
That is what existence and living is actually all about. Temporary diminishment of sexual desire can happen in any relationship. Illness, relocation, job loss or financial setbacks, can adversely affect our desire from time to time. External circumstances can and do affect the fire. Now a temporary break may actually be a good thing, as this can lead to renewed discovery of one another. The problem arises when the situation is prolonged. Now the lack of sexual desire or activity can actually cause distress in the relationship and lead to unhappiness in both partners and breakdowns. This needs to be addressed to avoid causing irreparable damage destroying the relationship. Here are some simple ways to get your mojo working again.
Stop fighting! Resolve any issues that may be stopping you from actually communicating and being a fond couple. Clear out the trash so to speak. Are there unresolved issues that you and your partner are avoiding? Confront these and clear them out. Lingering thoughts will lead to unhappiness and avoidance of intimacy on all levels. How do you think you will connect at a physical level, if you aren't even communicating? Clear the slate so to speak. Make intimate contact a necessity. You need to prioritize being near , just as an item on your to do note . choose up the laundry, be intimate, etc. We tend too put mundane activities ahead of our needs all too frequently . You need to live, not just exist. To live, you need to do certain enjoyable things. Sex is amongst thaoose, so prioritise it together with other fulfilling activities. Don't just assume it will happen, make it happen. This need not be inflexible, but let it happen more often than not. When you thrust sex aside your relationship will become like any other ordinary existence. Watch out for this, don't let it happen. The more you have sex, the more you will need it. Let the snowball effect carry you in the right direction.
Are you OK? Make sure that there aren't any physical reasons not to have sex. Male impotence, or erectile dysfunction, is very prevalent amongst highly stressed breadwinners. Attack the cause, reduce the stress, and if need be, use some of the available medication and seek medical assistance. This aspect of your health is as necessary as any other for the quality of your life . Women might have discomfort during intercourse for a variety of reasons. Again, seek assistance, resolve the physical issues. Make sure that there are no physical problems. Sometimes hormonal imbalances occurr, resulting in reduced drive, identify and remedy these. Modern medicine is very aware and capable of helping in these situations, there is no need for embarrassment, the issues are to widespread, for you too think that you are the only one with this type of problem. Sort it out.
Are you fulfilled? A common situation causing disinterest, or even anger or resentment, is an unfulfilling sexual relationship. If both partners needs are not being met, one will always feel like a victim. This cannot enable a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. If our needs are not being met, talk to your partner. Work on the situation together. An understanding of the situation is the first step to resolving the issue. In many cases, just letting your partner know what you like is sufficient to make all the difference. In very few situations is it imposible to find a mutually acceptable compromise to satisfy both partners
And the romance? Romance is what led to sex in the first place. Setting the right mood, creating romantic surroundings, can make all the difference. Create a little love nest. This can be a very intimate place, or an intimate time. Run a bath for your partner, put up some candles, add some scented bathoil, and voila you don't know what'll happen. On a more practical note, pack the kids off to grandma for the night , order in some exotic take-away, put a candle on the table, and refuse to let him do any housework. Watch the sparks fly. There are a myriad of ways to alter the mundane , and create situations tha timmediatrely up the chances of a romantic enjoyable encounter. You just need to do it. Up for a dirty weekend? A alter is as good as a holiday they say. In the romance stakes, a alter of scenery can work wonders. It doesn't have to be an exotic island location (although that would be nice). Get out of the rut. Get out and see something different, and it will bring about different thoughts and attitudes to your sexual perception as well. Get wild. Sex in an elevator, with the risk of being caught at any time, might turn on some partners to the extentt.
findmenowlove.com