Find Me Now Love - Cheating Spouse - spying

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Cheating Spouse: Spying and Invasion of Privacy
How the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying. Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you'd stop to that! How might you!? How can there be believe in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I need to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me?"
On and on. Cheating husbands and cheating wives generally will not admit the duplicity of their clandestine behavior. But you are created out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about infidelity borders close to sanity. Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying?
No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the extramarital affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you created . You saw clearly the signs of a cheating spouse. The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The marital infidelity broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal.
Spying doesn't damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception. Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is to discover the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.
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Find Me Now Love - Cheating Spouse

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Cheating Spouse: 7 Motives for Spying
Should you spy on your cheating wife or husband ? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is frequently strong . There are a number of reasons why the drive to spy is powerful. Here are seven:
1. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often cruel secrets. Secrets are work! There isn't much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. It is the proverbial elephant sitting in the room that no one dare talk about. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People begin doing crazy things. Children begin acting out, halt achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often haul the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You need to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive existence .
2. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution to the relationship. You need to know the truth. You sense something doesn't fit. You suspect there is a breach of one thing . You need to know what you are up against. You aren't willing to stand pat and wait. You are a person of action. You want some sort of movement. You need to get on with the relationship. You need to get on with your existence . You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this enormous elephant that no one is talking about. You need to know the truth, front the truth, deal with the truth and be release .
3. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer interest . Without adrenaline, life seems boring or ordinary . Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a portion of your life .
4. Trust is a large reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you've sensed one thing is different or questioned the change of behavior in your partner. Perhaps you confronted your cheating wife or cheating husband and it was met with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a portion of you was screaming, Hey, this doesn't fit! I don't believe it! To deny this portion of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a tremendous internal turmoil. If the truth as you suspect it is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at minimum know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to confirm your suspicions and believe more fully your gut feelings.
5. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often , unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If you strongly suspect this to be true for your situation you will need to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception might exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. Please read through my “7 Reasons For an Affair” to determine the situation that faces you. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.
6. You might need to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating wife or husband . You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know. Shame, guilt or self-absorption may be so powerful in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.
7. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives often helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away . It is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger who one time was well known. Isn’t it like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as youngsters ? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At minimum it is a game , and a game is at minimum some contact, some involvement . You miss the connection and attempt to find someway to maintain the ties.
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