Find Me Now Love - Emotional Intimacy

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Emotional Intimacy
Sex... There, I've said it... There are two major hot buttons for couples that come to see me: sex and money (we'll get to money in another article). People will not generally state it up front. It feels distant too shameful to approach right off. But eventually I find that the sexual part of their existence is ho-hum, less than satisfying, a subtle power game , or a hostile battlefield. This is distant from the lusty, passionate and even sweet experience of movies and advertisements. So, what's going on in the bedroom?
First, let me assure you that many couples have a sexual life that is very fine. If you're in that category then great! If not, then peruse on. Most of us know that men and women have very different notions about sexuality. The stereotype is that men are just fascinated in bodies and women just want emotional closeness. And our culture encourages these stereotypes. However, there's also a lot of truth in them. Men, I'm going to tell you one thing you'll probably not hear anywhere else. So, listen up. At age 18 the hormones in the body work just fine.We'll immediately get an erection if we look at a naked woman .
But, by the time we reach middle age this natural biological function has actually dimmed. Except for the men with the highest of sex drives we all find that the pump has to be primed with: Emotional Intimacy. This means that we talk with our partner, look deep into her eyes, listen to what she's about and (yikes!) tell her about our deepest fears, failings, and desires to succeed. Women have known this stuff all along. My husband has always had a saying, "Love me in the kitchen, if you expect me to love you in the bedroom."
She doesn't mean grope her in the kitchen. She means to partake of life with him , to know him deeply, and to make sure she gets this message all day long. Women, it's a terribly frustrating experience to have your partner experience impotency. If you're secure and caring you want to assist him so much, but the assist is difficult to come up with. If you're insecure you might start to believe it is you're fault and you're just not woman enough to turn her on. The genuine problem is usually a lack of priming the pump.
And by that I mean real serious emotional intimacy. And generally , your partner doesn't have a clue to what this means. Usually we men learn about this stuff from you women. So, where's the 1,2,3 easy response ? Sorry to disappoint you. There isn't one. I might lose readership over this, but you need to hear the truth. Emotional intimacy requires a lasting commitment to entering the other's life in deeper and deeper ways. There are books and books written on this, but who follows the advice? So, here is your assignment for afterwhile today: Tell your partner about a fear you've never mentioned. Make sure it is one that you don't want to bring up.
Make sure it is a challenge to you. Regardless of the reaction, know that you've just taken a step of maturity that can ultimately be the step to a genuine turn on!
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Find Me Now Love - Fun Dating Or Serious Dating

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Fun Dating Or Serious Dating?
When contemplating this question, it might occur to you eventually that dating might actually be both. After all, teenagers and those in their adult years have gone through this rite of passage called dating, and this is a natural activity, just as social interaction is part of each person's existence . While all our actions go through the cause and effect wheel, there's no reason why you shouldn't enjoy a good date as much as your next-door neighbor. There are probably a lot of questions in your mind -should you be a first-timer teen, or someone who's gone back to the dating pool -regarding dating. But don't fret! Here are some basic pointers on how to go about dating the hassle-free way:
Contemplate your reasons.
Just why are you deciding to whirl into the world of dating? It could be that you are looking for that special someone, make new friends and acquaintances, get intimate with someone, or simply experience what it's like to date. You could even be doing it for more complicated reasons -to try to forget your ex, find someone to marry, to hook up with that person you've been attracted to for years. Whatever the reason is, just make sure that it still borders on the healthy and positive. Date for the right reasons, reasons that will enrich your existence and let you have fun. Most all, do it for yourself, and not just because you are being pressured into doing it.
Find your prospects.
If you've already gone through the first tip, then we're already in business! The good news is, this dating step is relatively easier. The advent of the universe wide web has ensured that you can go online and sign up for dating and matching services in a matter of minutes. You'll discover that there are quite a lot of people out there who are too looking for people to meet, date and have fun with. Prep up your online profile and advertise, advertise, and advertise some more!
Chances are, after wading through all the email from your prospective dates, you'll have quite a handful that you'll want to meet up with. And if you're not an internet fan, you might too try the old-fashioned way of having your friends set you up with common friends. This has the added advantage of meeting up with someone who's not actually a total stranger -and if you have any awkward moments during the date, you might always start off the conversation by talking about your mutual friends.
The big "D". It's finally time for what you've started to refer to as "The Date" -and you find that you're actually nervous. Don't panic. Things are about to get more exciting. But first , some practical dating concerns:
1. It would be best to set the date in a place considered common ground. This way, you have the security of being able to get elsewhere in case something goes wrong. His or him pad may be totally romantic, but make sure to make safety your initial priority. There are still a lot of odd characters out there, after all.
2. It's also the best time to make sure you're clean and presentable. Even if you don't have the funds to splurge on that fabulous outfit, nothing beats over-all, good hygiene. Fashionable shoes can only do so much if you didn't even bother to brush your teeth. Dress as the occasion calls for. After all, getting ushered out of that fancy bistro for not following the dress code bombs out your date before it even begins.
3. Even before you begin being charming to your date, make sure you extend the most gracious gesture of all, which is to arrive on time. This is one of the most basic dating etiquette you must adhere to. Not only does this ensure that you don't end up with a grumpy date, you'll also be able to let your date know that you put in some effort by being there on time.
4. All you need to be successful in dating is to be as courteous to your date as you, yourself, wish to be treated. From here on and after, matters would already depend on how you interact and, more importantly, if you two have any chemistry. But for now , best relax and attempt to have as much fun as you can.
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Find Me Now Love - The Art Of Selection

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
The Art Of Selection
Dating manuals thick as telephone directories can be written on the subject of selecting the right dating partner. The key to the selection process isn't to focus on our potential dating partner, but to focus on our ingrained human instincts. What are these human instincts? Imagination and desire are our enemies! As we approach dating relationships from our own point of view, many individuals drop short in reaching their goals. There are countless reasons why most individuals finish in last place when commencing to build healthy dating relationships.
Imagination and desire will cripple a dating relationship before the relationship starts, and before you know it, you're right back at the starting gate with a new dating partner or wish you were! Beginning the dating process, we frequently focus on what we need in our dating partner and not his/her present composition. Captive is our rational self by our imagination and blinded by desire. The moment we are introduced to someone, or view some photos, profiles or personal ads online – we immediately enter an imaginary world , especially if he/she is physically attractive.
It is our own little world constructed by our imagination; at this point, we lose all sense of reality. Reality is what exists now and imagination is what we want to exist, which is the total opposite. Our reliant on our intoxicated senses, intoxicated by imagination and desire leads us into total darkness. As a result, our objectivity fades away into the background. This unreal portrayal depicts a fictional fairytale hero that originates from the desire to realize the storybook romance. On the surface, the storybook romance syndrome appears to be harmless.
When individuals attempt to convert their imagination into a dating reality, total destruction visits the dating relationship, leaving the residue of psychological devastation behind. The storybook romance syndrome has defaced the truth about dating relationships, retarding them from ever having a chance of realizing success. To achieve a blissful dating relationship with the hope of achieving a long lasting marriage, you must not select a dating partner based on your imagination.
You must remain focused on reality; you must also focus on objectivity and not subjectivity. In the absence of an objective criteria to resort to in selecting your dating partner; your only alternative is to turn to a sincere, trusted family member or friend for assist in the selection process. They will be more incline to exercise an objective approach. Remember this, when you are in the picture, you can’t see the picture! Investigate patiently your potential dating partner and never rely on your own senses, you may finish initial in the race to a healthy dating relationship. Good Luck!
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Find Me Now Love - Steps to Finding Your Soulmate

Find Me Now Love Blog Post
Steps to Finding Your Soulmate
What is true matching about? It is about people that seem to be made for one another. But this may become a deceiving matter because matching begins with honesty.
1. The first you've to do is being honest with yourself, knowing who you are and what you are about. This issue tightly depends on your selfesteem, so work it out at this instant, always retain in mind a good image of yourself, this is the essence of being alert for your love!
2. Remember that unless you are ready to meet the love of your existence , it won’t come for you, because everything depends on how much you want it to happen. Wise men say that when you actually need something , the whole Universe rearanges itself for making your wish come true. And believe me there is sufficient room for everybody’s desires. So let your desire increase stronger every day.
3. After you take a good see at yourself, hear what Mother Nature whispers in your ear about looking for someone of certain looks and physical features that suits you best. Did you know that soulmates almost look like one another? That soulmates may be so very different in appearance but still so alike? What makes them see alike, may request , if she is dark haired and she is blonde, or if she is black and he is white? There is that certain one thing named chemistry which makes them get connected and harmonize their everything: mimics, gestures, reactions. So before you get yourself connected, make a mental picture of your potential soulmate in each single detail of its appearance and all you've to do is recognize him when you look around! It is very important to know exactly the way you need it to be.
4. I can hear some of you saying that things are as difficult as easy they seem to be, because matching is a complex scenario. I'm telling you that things are difficult only when we do not know what we need and don’t have enough faith that Nature will work for us and solve the complexity of matching scenario: habits, hobbies, humour, sharing the same values, location, background. Concentrate on the solution of the matter not on the issue itself, do your piece of the job faithfully and don't worry.
5. Obviously that none of us wants to become haunted, obsessed by an ideal of love that never shows up, right? That’s why you've to cut the belt, release your mind of your desire (which has already put to work the invisible engines of the Universe, believe it or not !) and do your usual stuff.
6. And here comes the tough part: waiting! Wait for a while and let the Nature action for how long as it takes. Take into account that you've already helped Nature with your faith and your powerful action. It’s a mutual thing. In love, as in everything, you get what you donate .
7. Finally , let me share a secret with you: don’t to tell anyone you are about to meet your soulmate. The deepest desires mustn't be shared until they come true. Any interfering may disturb you from keeping a good image of yourself, letting your desire increase stronger, picturing in mind your soulmate, staying focused on what you have to do, letting your mind free and waiting faithfully. But certainly you may tell me when he or she comes around!
So very soon , I hope!
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