Showing posts with label sexual images. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexual images. Show all posts

Monday, November 26, 2012

Find Me Now Love - Effective Lovers?

Find Me Now Love

Effective Lovers?

Who teaches men to be effective lovers? Until now , no one. The prevailing word in that question is “effective.” Almost any woman can compile a list of ineffective teachers. Most women that I have interviewed report that their male partner has few clues about how to be a consistently effective lover.
Every man has teachers. His own “urge to merge” provides the drive. Then he looks around for guidance in how to use that phallic power. Other boys or men will share their stories of sexual prowess. The movies and TV provide sexual images, portraying what appear to be well-received offers and action leading to sexual intercourse.
Most youthful men (of any age) discover their way to pornography. Pictures and videos provide models for sexual intercourse. We all recognize the scene. First of all, the man is obviously ready , willing and able. Most times a passionate kiss begins the encounter. She responds eagerly and passionately to his kiss and embrace. Both commence almost immediately to rip off each other’s clothing, and discover an acceptable space for the man to lie on top of her .
We might see a many seconds of his passionate caressing of him breasts and nipples, and then, nearly immediately she is inside of him and he is moaning in ecstasy. The next scene generally shows one of them leaving the bed, either soon thereafter or early the next morning. End of one more ineffective lesson.
In spite of the prevalence of public sexual imagery, our culture remains sex-phobic and uneducated. Most women have small permission to explore the sensual riches of their own bodies or to experience the fullness of their own sexual passions. Therefore, most women are unprepared to teach their male lovers what to do.
The almost mythic anecdote of the older woman who takes the young male and teaches him the secrets of sexual intercourse remains fascinating and always a bit frowned upon. Relationships are generally fragile. Sexual incompatibility, which adds to relationship tensions, frequently has more to do with ignorance than with poor intention. The time has come to move beyond cultural taboos to sensitive, relationship-affirming sexual education for women and for men.

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