Have you ever been to a function in
a room full of strangers and discovered yourself lost for words?
The art of introducing yourself to others and creating small talk may
come natural for some, but most people confess to feeling shy,
embarrassed and don't know where to start .
There are four levels of communication: Small talk , fact disclosure,
share viewpoints and opinions and share personal opinions.
1) Small Talk - In new relationships or acquaintances the safest place to start is to opposite about surface issues. For instance, make a comment about the weather, current events or the surroundings you're in. This is called 'small talk', and is used to 'size up' the other person to determine the comfort zone in-between the two of you.
There is no need to disclose any personal information with the other person at this stage, as this initial interaction assists you to determine how 'safe' they are on your first meeting. If you are comfortable with each other at a surface level you can easily slip into the next level of communication: fact disclosure
2) Fact Disclosure - Fact disclosure is slightly deeper than small talk in that you disclose facts about yourself without triggering topics of emotional interest. The purpose of fact disclosure is to find out if you have one thing in common. You can use these common areas to build a friendship. You may need to talk about your career, occupation, hobbies, or where you live.
Avoid topics like marriage, divorce, politics, sex and religion in this second level of communication. If you find a topic of mutual interest you may need to progress to the next level of communication: sharing viewpoints and opinions.
3) Share Viewpoints and Opinions - Once you've established that the other person is 'safe' through tiny talk , and have discovered areas of common interest, you can construct rapport by sharing your opinions and viewpoints. By sharing your viewpoints and opinions you permit yourself to become susceptible to the scrutiny and objections of the other person.
Enter this level of communication once you're comfortable that you both share positive feelings through the first two levels. Be prepared to hear to the opinions of your unused ally . This will enable your friendship to survive. Make sure you don't use your opinions as a form of 'character assassination' of other folks . You might be thought of as a negative person and this may cause your new friend to distance himself/herself from you.
The fourth level of communication is sharing personal feelings. Solid friendships over time generally enter this fourth level of communication.
4) Share Personal Feelings - After building upon believe , finding things in common and listening to the viewpoints and opinions of others, you might be able to share your personal feelings. This is when an acquaintance becomes a genuine ally . Things of deep value to you can be shared lacking feeling threatened. You listen closely to each other without the need to 'solve' your friend's problem.
You are happy to reflect their feelings back to them forming a bond of empathy and compassion between the two of you. At this level of communication, it is necessary that you provide a little distance between yourself and your friend . If the distinction in-between yourself and your ally becomes unrecognizable, it is possible for your relationship to go sour.
If you know how to handle your own feelings, attitudes and behaviors while maintaining your friendship at this level, you will construct a successful friendship that can last a lifetime.
1) Small Talk - In new relationships or acquaintances the safest place to start is to opposite about surface issues. For instance, make a comment about the weather, current events or the surroundings you're in. This is called 'small talk', and is used to 'size up' the other person to determine the comfort zone in-between the two of you.
There is no need to disclose any personal information with the other person at this stage, as this initial interaction assists you to determine how 'safe' they are on your first meeting. If you are comfortable with each other at a surface level you can easily slip into the next level of communication: fact disclosure
2) Fact Disclosure - Fact disclosure is slightly deeper than small talk in that you disclose facts about yourself without triggering topics of emotional interest. The purpose of fact disclosure is to find out if you have one thing in common. You can use these common areas to build a friendship. You may need to talk about your career, occupation, hobbies, or where you live.
Avoid topics like marriage, divorce, politics, sex and religion in this second level of communication. If you find a topic of mutual interest you may need to progress to the next level of communication: sharing viewpoints and opinions.
3) Share Viewpoints and Opinions - Once you've established that the other person is 'safe' through tiny talk , and have discovered areas of common interest, you can construct rapport by sharing your opinions and viewpoints. By sharing your viewpoints and opinions you permit yourself to become susceptible to the scrutiny and objections of the other person.
Enter this level of communication once you're comfortable that you both share positive feelings through the first two levels. Be prepared to hear to the opinions of your unused ally . This will enable your friendship to survive. Make sure you don't use your opinions as a form of 'character assassination' of other folks . You might be thought of as a negative person and this may cause your new friend to distance himself/herself from you.
The fourth level of communication is sharing personal feelings. Solid friendships over time generally enter this fourth level of communication.
4) Share Personal Feelings - After building upon believe , finding things in common and listening to the viewpoints and opinions of others, you might be able to share your personal feelings. This is when an acquaintance becomes a genuine ally . Things of deep value to you can be shared lacking feeling threatened. You listen closely to each other without the need to 'solve' your friend's problem.
You are happy to reflect their feelings back to them forming a bond of empathy and compassion between the two of you. At this level of communication, it is necessary that you provide a little distance between yourself and your friend . If the distinction in-between yourself and your ally becomes unrecognizable, it is possible for your relationship to go sour.
If you know how to handle your own feelings, attitudes and behaviors while maintaining your friendship at this level, you will construct a successful friendship that can last a lifetime.
